can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Watching her eat just hurts me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
