try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
