The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
