Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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