I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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