I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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