Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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