with your own penis?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
