This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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