Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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