I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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