you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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