I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
