4 words: hood of his car
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize