I hate your face
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
