Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
