Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
