it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
