I cut my penus on the lid.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
