I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
