based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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