I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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