I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
