quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hippo gnu deer
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize