Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
