im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
