Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
