why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
