I like to think it a success when the cops are called
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
