New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
