I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize