I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
