In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
