Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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