20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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