Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
