My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She just used a chaser for red wine.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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