I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
