hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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