Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I didn't notice because vodka
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
