We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
