420 ftw
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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