P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
