Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
