You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
