By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
