And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
