her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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