South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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