I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she peed on how many people?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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