cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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