I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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