Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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