take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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