I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
