he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
