I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
