There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
