You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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