Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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