I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
