Someone shit on the floor
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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