im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
